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3 Ways Technology Can Negatively Impact Your Relationship

Technology is amazing. Over the last century or so technology has brought us closer together through reduced travel times, more communication options, and more varied shared experiences. More recently technology has also been driving people apart, especially those in a close relationship.

Slowing Real Life Dating

Online dating generally leads to people courting longer. The time between meeting online and meeting in person is a time filled with fantasy and possibility. As soon as that in person meeting happens some of the mystery is dispelled. Everything gets much more real in real life. Many people delay the real-life meeting as long as possible to enjoy the fantasy for as long as possible. Unfortunately, the longer the fantasy lives on, the more likely real life is to disappoint.


Many people have developed an instinctive response to their cell phones. They’ll have it in their hand checking it when it makes a noise, often without even realizing they’re doing it. Where the telephone invited people to interrupt our home life unannounced with a ring, smartphones invite the entire world to our every moment with no warning. We’ve responded by paying attention to that world, often at the expense of the people we are physically near. Many people are so distracted by their phones they are prone to anxiety when they don’t have them near.


Phones, tablets, and the Internet. It is easier than ever to be tempted, fall prey to temptation, and hide it from a significant other. Many people spend time fantasizing about options beyond their significant other. This in and of itself isn’t necessarily unhealthy. What drives people apart is to take these fantasies anywhere outside the mind. While some may claim it’s a logical fallacy, human nature is for that slippery slope to lead all the way down. The ease in taking that next step towards cheating on our partners is much easier to take with modern technology than it has been in the past.

If there’s something, technology or not, coming between you and your partner Dr. William Conti, PhD can help. At East-West Therapy in Honolulu can help any couple through tough spots in their relationship.